Obviously

Projecting:

• "Projection is the opposite defence mechanism to identification. We project our own unpleasant feelings onto someone else and blame them for having thoughts that we really have."
• "A defense mechanism in which the individual attributes to other people impulses and traits that he himself has but cannot accept. It is especially likely to occur when the person lacks insight into his own impulses and traits."
• "Attributing one's own undesirable traits to other people or agencies."
• "The individual perceives in others the motive he denies having himself. Thus the cheat is sure that everyone else is dishonest."
• "A man harboring attractions for a woman would perceive other men as having the same attractions for her."
• "People attribute their own undesirable traits onto others. An individual who unconsciously harbours his or her aggressive/sexual tendencies may then imagine other people acting in an excessively aggressive or sexual way."
• "An individual who possesses malicious characteristics, but who is unwilling to perceive himself as an antagonist, convinces himself that his opponent feels and would act the same way."

I've always worried it would be me who cheated on Beloved. Subconsciously I assumed I would do it to him before he did it to me. It wouldn't even have to be a physical affair. It could be an emotional one. I was just sure I would be the first to do it.

I was wrong.