Told You

I never believed it when people said they had 'no idea' their significant other was having an affair. I mean, really...the woman always know, right?

Well, I didn't. I would have more believed Beloved was snorting coke or free-basing heroin than to believe he was messing around. When would he have found the time?

Were there signs? Signs that I suspected him of cheating? I didn't see any signs. Probably because I wasn't looking for any. I tend to become suspicious and alert when things start to go downhill. But I'll get to that.

The shit hit the fan in late March. It happened on a Friday night, after we had went to bed. He was exhausted and feel asleep right away. I couldn't sleep, tossing and turning because I wasn't tired until I finally got up and went out into the living room. I thought I'd turn on my laptop and play some Hearts on Yahoo (which would make me tired) but when I went to plug it up to the wall outlet I had to unplug Beloved's phone (it was re-charging) to make room.

Looking back, I don't remember exactly why I flipped open his phone. Curiosity? Was my subconscious beckoning me to do it? I dunno. When I did I saw he had an unopened text message from someone named Kara.

Immediately 2 things hit me. I didn't know of any Kara, and he had never mentioned a person by that name to me. Second, he knew this person well enough to program her name and number into his phone.

My hands began to shake and my stomach did a flip-flop. I opened the message. I don't remember exactly what was said, but the text was flirty and it was obvious this wasn't the first message she'd sent. After opening the rest of his text messages for that day I saw that this was the 3rd message she'd sent him that evening. I recalled his phone going off while we were sitting there watching TV before we went to bed and Beloved had flipped it open and said it was his best friend texting him. He said he'd text him back in the morning. And I'd believed him, having no other reason not to.

So now I sat there realizing I had just won the world's biggest fool award by a unanimous vote. Yet, I had no flowers or crown to show for it.

The following day Beloved, Cherished and I were supposed to go out to Meanie's house to celebrate my nephew's 7th birthday. This was the first weekend in months that Beloved didn't have to work on his remodel of his house and he didn't have his girls and we were all excited just to be able to go and relax and play some cards with my family. Sitting there I weighed my options. If I confronted him now I knew our weekend plans would be shot to hell and I would have to face my family and explain Beloved's absence. Or I could let it go until Sunday.

Who was I kidding? There was no way I could wait until Sunday.

I walked into my bedroom where Beloved was sleeping and flipped on the light. Beloved sat up like he'd been shot. I stood near the door and nonchalantly tossed him his phone. "Who's Kara?"

Beloved was still trying to wake up but it only took a few seconds for him to realize the gig was up and he'd better come up with some explanation. And quickly.

Again, I don't remember exactly what he said. Something about her just being a 'friend'. In fact, the next few minutes were a blur. I said I didn't believe him, wanted to know how long it had been going on...you know, the usual. Beloved had gotten up and started to dress. We came out into the living room and eventually I had asked him to leave, when it became obvious to me just exactly what had been going on. He had actually said very little. He knew that I knew and there wasn't anything he could say.

I had cried alittle as he dressed, but for the most part had kept my composure. I was in shock. I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I couldn't believe I hadn't seen this coming from 50 miles away.

But I hadn't.